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The Hump Day Humor-Gram June 30, 2004 Issue #96

In this issue . . .

1. In Need of a Vacation?
2. Mike’s Fun at Work Tip
3. Deep Thought of the Week
4. It’s a Wacky, Wacky World
1. In Need of a Vacation?

I’m only giving you two possible choices to answer this question:

a) Yes! or . . .
b) Yes!

We all need a vacation. As I have reminded us oh-so-often here
at the old Hump Day, vacations are not a “luxury” but an
absolute necessity. As the American Heart Association reported,
taking a regular vacation reduces the risk of a heart attack.
Holidays help us recharge our batteries, spark our creative
thinking skills, boost our long term productivity and,
perhaps most importantly of all, prevent us from running our
boss through the paper shredder or mooning our customers
(neither of which are very good for the old career).

So with the summer vacation season upon us (for those of you
tuning in from the northern half of planet earth) here are
a few thoughts on how to truly make the most of your summer
vacation . . .

– since the day before leaving for holidays is reportedly one
of the most stressful days of the year, take the time to plan
your escape accordingly and plan it EARLY! Start now.

– since the first day back from vacation is also high on
the old stress meter, try doing a little trick that I used to do
with tremendous success. Return to work a day earlier than what
you TELL people. This gives you an entire stress-free day to dig
out without being so interrupted by those annoying people who
are really just jealous because you got to go away and they

– leave behind your Blackberry and/or laptop. This will not
only help you make a complete break from work, it might save
your marriage.

– try taking a vacation in your own town. The trip planning
is really easy, there’s no airline food involved, no airport
security, no kids throwing up in the back of the sedan . . .

– read mindless fiction. This is a time to escape from work and
life, not rehash it by reading the company’s latest annual report.

– send the gang back at the office a postcard. This is a nice
gesture and also a safe way of saying “Nah nah nah nah nah”.

Oh, yeah, I guess you should also try and have fun. Lots of fun.
That would be high on my list. Try something you’ve never done
before. Run through the sprinkler. Teach your dog a new trick.
Teach your spouse a new trick. Learn to play the harmonica.
Buy a hammock and then USE IT! Play Twister. Remember – there is
a reason why kids laugh 400 times a day and we only laugh 12
times a day – they’re having WAY too much fun and we need to
get a cut of the action.

Happy Hump Day and happy holidays! (and if you don’t have at
least a few days of holidays planned I hope I haven’t
depressed the heck out of you. If so, I’m really, really sorry!)
2. Mike’s Fun at Work Tip

Create some goofy postcards of the office and send them to
colleagues away on holidays to remind them of how much
fun they are missing out on. These would be like reverse
postcards that let folks know that they really are being
missed and that you really do wish them well (or if you are
cruel you could remind them of all the work awaiting them when
they return, I suppose . . . but please don’t do that).
3. Deep Thought of the Week

Never promise a farmer you’ll water his plants
and feed his animals while he’s on vacation.
4. It’s a Wacky, Wacky World

How nutty are we human getting? Apparently, very nutty.

There is a new craze in which people are going to extreme lengths
to try and resemble. . . animals. Yup. They’re called “humanimals.”
Now, I’ve been known to dress up as an animal the odd time, sometimes
for professional reasons, and I must say I have always had a good time
when I’ve done so, but these humanimals are getting a little silly.

One man, (and I hesitate to use that term) known as “Lizard Man,”
had his tongue surgically forked in an effort to look more like
a lizard. Another man, known as Enigma, has grafted horns to his head.
And Cat Man has striped tattoos from head to toe, latex whisker
implants, filed teeth and surgically enhanced snarled lips.

Are these people just bored or superhero wannabes?

Keep laughing (or for some of you, keep howling)!
Copyright Michael Kerr, 2004

Back issues of the Hump Day Express can be
found at

International speaker Michael Kerr, “The Workplace Energizer” is
the author of five books, including When Do You Let the Animals
Out? and You Can’t Be Serious! Putting Humor to Work. Michael
delivers keynote talks and workshops on humor in the workplace,
business creativity and public speaking skills.

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