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Keeping in Touch With Reality

Hello? Is anyone out there? Anyone at all?

Perhaps you can relate to the following scenario. It’s Thursday. Day four of the work week in your basement home office. Day four of writing articles, sorting invoices, surfing the Net and filing papers. Day four of total dedication to your home business. And day four since you’ve had any meaningful contact with the outside world. For all you know, planet earth as you once knew it no longer exists. For all you know, the world has been taken over by aliens named Garth or a meteorite has taken out a large chunk of the United States. And all the while, you blithely carry on puttering away in your basement as if everything is okay. I mean, surely, someone would’ve  called if it wasn’t?

When thoughts like these ooze into my brain, I know I’ve reached the juncture that all home-office workers inevitably reach – that point when you’ve lost complete and utter touch with the real bigstock-Man-crouched-into-a-box-in-a-w-38591734world. You can probably recognize the signs. You begin to feel like you’re trapped in an avalanche and wonder if anyone knows you’re in there alive. You e-mail yourself. You pick up the phone to make sure the lines aren’t down. You scan the neighborhood with binoculars in hopes of catching a glimpse of a live human being, just to make sure nothing really bad has happened out there. You become despondent when you schedule a brainstorming meeting with your dog, and even Rex doesn’t show. You invite the insurance salesman in for coffee and a brief discussion on the meaning of life. And yes, you even phone Aunt Geraldine to ask how the gall bladder operation went.

There’s no question about it – maintaining social contact while working out of your home can be a real challenge. Sure, there’s always cyber-contact with the outside, but then again, astronauts have just as much contact (actually more since they rarely travel alone) so it doesn’t really seem to fill the void. Fortunately,  there are many ways of maintaining contact with the outside world that you probably haven’t even thought of. Not to worry, I’ve thought of them for you . . .

Move your desk out onto the front lawn. Heck, with extension cords and satellite technology this simple option allows you to maintain contact with neighbors, paperboys, sales reps, joggers, garbage collectors, dog walkers and various vagrants. (Obviously this should only be considered under suitable climatic conditions).

Hold your next meeting at the local bowling alley. Everyone meets at coffee shops – in fact, it’s being done to death. The bowling alley puts you in touch with much more real life sights, sounds and yes, even smells.

Move your home office into someone else’s home. This way you get all the benefits of working out of a home office, but still keep the outside world experience of  “heading off to work.” As an added bonus, select a home that has unemployed people living in it so you can maintain that human contact you’re so desperately craving.

Invite former co-workers to work out of your home. With a little ingenuity and creative design, your entire home can be transformed into a mini, Martha Stewartish corporate head quarters, complete with a water cooler located conveniently in your rec room.

Leave urgent messages on clients voice mails telling them to call you at once. When they call, explain that you’ve solved the problem but since they’re on the line anyway, do they know of any good movies to rent? Not only will your phone ring off the hook, you’ll also get some sound home entertainment advice.

Business reading to catch up on? Get out of the office, and forget the library, it’s too quiet. What you need is stimulus not a sedative, so head for the lobby of a large hotel, ride the city bus, get comfy in a Karaoke bar, visit the airport or, try my  personal favorite  –  the provincial court house.

Crash other companies business meetings. People crash weddings and parties, so why not? The key is to dress properly, carry a brief case, arrive a few minutes late and look as though you’re supposed to be there. You can catch up on office gossip and politics, share some jokes, make new friends and not even worry about paying attention when the boss drones on and on.

I promise that if you try one or two of these strategies you’ll begin to feel like a fully functioning member of the human race in no time at all.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s my turn to bowl.

Michael Kerr is a Canadian Hall of Fame Speaker, highly in-demand international keynote speaker, and the creator of the Culture Leadership Online Academy. Michael is also the author of 8 books, including:  The Humor Advantage: Why Some Businesses Are Laughing All the Way to the Bank;  Hire, Inspire, and Fuel Their Fire; and The Jerk-Free Workplace: How You Can Take the Lead to Create a Happier, More Inspiring Workplace.  www.MikeKerr.com

 

Rave Reviews

“Your presentation was beyond excellent! You have the unique ability to both entertain and educate. It was the perfect mix of a serious business message, along with a very funny delivery.”
Dave Thompson, CFO & President, Sandvik Canada, Inc.
“Michael was brilliant! An incredible session that received a standing ovation. The content was a welcome and valuable divergence from typical educational sessions. If you need to leave your audience energized with great content, I highly recommend Michael Kerr!”
Dana Cooper, Executive Director, Orthotics Prosthetics Canada
“Michael held the full attention of our senior management team for a full 4-hour presentation! His management philosophy is a fantastic approach that I have encouraged my team to carry forward.”
Martine Rothblatt, Chairman & CEO, United Therapeutics
“It was evident, almost from the first word you spoke, that you would be one of the most memorable parts of the two days. Your high energy, fast-paced, powerful style had everyone on the edges of their seats. Beyond being incredibly entertaining, you gave the leaders pragmatic tools and ideas that are easily transferable to their jobs.”
Mark Breslaw, Human Resources Business Partner, Telus
“Michael’s Leading and Laughing During Turbulent Times was the best presentation I have seen in my 40 years in business.”
Rodney Meadows, Director East Alabama Home Medical
“That was one of the best virtual presentations I have been on and the best one since this pandemic! It was the highlight of my week and gave me a resurgence of positivity, motivation and energy.”
Natasha Purnell, Chief Culture Officer, Park Insurance
“Michael Kerr delivered an absolutely outstanding performance – virtually! His energy and humorous content had our event attendees wanting our company to book him again!”
Kylene Donaldson, Western Financial Group
“Michael Kerr’s humor, messages and energy was not lost at all in the virtual format and allowed us to continue an important tradition of having fun and being together. His messages on how to  build resiliency were delivered in an engaging way that really hit home!”
Brier Albano, Associate Registrar, Medicine Hat College
“With his high energy and animated presentation of over 90 minutes, he had everyone’s full attention!”
Jolaine Arsenault, Retail Market Analysis and Liaison Specialist, Co-op Atlantic
“Just wanted to say “WOW!” – that was awesome! We’ve had many speakers over the years, but none the likes of Michael Kerr.”
Richard Dansereau, President, NAPA Autopro BDG
“One of the most enjoyable keynote speakers we have worked with. Not only was it entertaining, it contained valuable lessons for our managers to take back to the office.”
Peter Panaritis, President, Brinks Canada Limited
“Many of the head office staff thought you were the best keynote speaker we’ve ever had! Thank-you for your invigorating and energizing keynote presentation.”
Tanya Dusyk, Territory Manager, Shell Canada
“Your dynamic and interactive presentation was the highlight of our conference. To this day, years later, we will often refer to the topics you enlightened and enriched our lives with!”
Steve Enns, Vice President and General Manager, TGS Harvard Management
“I wanted to share with you the amazing customer comments below. We’ve been employing various techniques that you described and I wanted you to know that your work makes a difference!”
Kevin Walsh, Chief Marketing & Sales Officer, Showdown Displays
“Yours was one of the most effective, enlightening, and entertaining presentations we’ve ever had at a conference (and we’ve had a lot!).”
Mario Bernardi, Executive Director, ClimateCare Co-operative
“You were by far the best rated speaker. Michael’s energy influenced my entire experience at the conference.”
Mary Anne Yurkiw, Food Matters Conference Chair
“YOU ROCK! Michael had everyone in stitches and offered amazing workplace food for thought.”
Janice Vilaca, Program Administrator, Co-operative Education, Wilfred Laurier University
“I’ve seen Michael four times – he’s amazing. You come away with knowledge on how to make your workplace better and you don’t even realize you were being taught because you are so busy being entertained.”
Michelle Kimura, Owner, MicAr Marketing
“Thanks to your suggestions, staff feel engaged and empowered to start creating an inspiring workplace. You have made a huge, positive impact in just 90 minutes!”
Paola Zurro, Senior Director, Real Property Branch
“Michael exceeded our expectations in every aspect. He was nothing short of the star of our event. By far, the best speaker we’ve ever had!”
Rod Smith, VP, Business Development, Century Vallen
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